looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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