"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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