She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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