do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
