Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize