he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
