you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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