Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
