so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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