i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
