cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
