Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
