2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize