Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
