Hey man sorry I got all grabby
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize