Yo dont text me then not text me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
