non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
the raccoons are back...
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