It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
