Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
