carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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