i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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