i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
