Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
