This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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