It's a beautiful day for a hangover
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
