On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
