woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You're like the curious george of whores
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
