it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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