I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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