Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
