wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
