No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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