apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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