i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
