I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
