..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
