hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
