he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize