Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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