rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
