her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
