Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
