He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
