On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
