Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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