walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
