drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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