And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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