He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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