It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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