he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
