If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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