my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I want is dick and wine.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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