Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
