It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
