Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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