Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
