I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
