your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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