One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
