She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
