Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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