i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
