That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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