yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
