Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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