lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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