it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
