Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
