420 ftw
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
