Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize